Category: POLITICS

Government Praise 2017s Record Low Crime Levels

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THE Taoiseach Enda Kenny made himself available for interview to all media organisations in the country today as he trumpeted Ireland’s stunning 2017 crime figures. “It is unprecedented, and a sure sign of the solid work this government, elected by the people, is doing for and on behalf of, of course – the Irish people,”… Read more »

Gerry Adams Diagnosed With Selective Alzheimers

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EXPERTS in neuroscience have diagnosed Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams with a new form of Alzheimer’s, which causes the victim to lose huge chunks of memory, usually relating to the same subject. Although Alzheimer’s patients normally experience a gradual loss of memory from across their whole life, the newly-named ‘Adams Disease’ causes the sufferer to… Read more »

Taoiseach In Silicon Valley To Promote ‘Pay Whatever Tax You Want In Ireland’ Initiative

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PROMOTING Ireland as a business destination today in Silicon Valley, Taoiseach Enda Kenny could barely contain his excitement when explaining Ireland’s innovative approach tax to leading tech bosses. Afforded an audience with leading American tech company bosses, Kenny wasted no time in explaining the often misrepresented tax arrangements of large multinational companies operating in Ireland…. Read more »

Government Dislocates Shoulder Patting Themselves On The Back

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THE ENTIRE cabinet of the current government presented itself to a Dublin A&E department, displaying injuries consistent with over zealous and congratulatory patting of the back, WWN can exclusively reveal. Following the publication of a report into the compensation scheme for survivors of symphysiotomy, the government decided to congratulate themselves on a job well done… Read more »