Category: POLITICS

Mr Bean Appointed As New UK Brexit Secretary

FOLLOWING the sudden resignation of former UK Brexit secretary David Davis, prime minister Theresa May has announced her new appointment to the role, Mr. Bean. Announcing his resignation just two days after warring factions in May’s cabinet approved a Brexit plan in a bid to unblock negotiations with Brussels, Davis wished Mr. Bean all the best in his new… Read more »

Theresa May’s Meltdown Goes Into Meltdown

BRITISH prime minister Theresa May’s meltdown has spiraled in the wake of the resignation of her incompetent and workshy Brexit minister David Davis, creating a rare ‘meltdown black hole’ according to experts in ‘complete fucking disasters’. “It’s just such a shame, because it had all been going so swimmingly up until now,” one spokesperson for… Read more »

“I Fucking Dare Anyone To Run Against Me”

CURRENT president of Ireland Michael D. Higgins smirked at reporters earlier today after being asked about potential opponents in a possible presidential election later this year, simply answering ‘let them fucking try’. D. Higgins, whose 7-year term as Uachtarain comes to an end later this year, is expected to run uncontested for a second term,… Read more »

Lowry 2-0 Ireland

THE Republic of Ireland was said to be devastated following a crushing 2-0 defeat against old rival Lowry after yet another disappointing performance at their home ground, the Dublin Circuit Criminal Court, yesterday afternoon. Kicking off at 26th September 1997, Ireland began the game with a solid start under the watchful eyes of referee Justice Michael Moriarty, with several shots at… Read more »