John Gilligan’s Ready-Roll Puff Pastry Recipes

Howsies gang! Its that time of year again to root out that old dusty packet of ready-roll puff pastry you bought five years ago and turn it into something really scrumptious for the whole family to enjoy! Back when I was a wee laddie in West Dublin, our mam used to cook the finest puff… Read more »

Fears Of Protest Grows As Irish Newspaper Prints Name ‘Mohammad’ In Comic Sans Font

BILLIONS of Irish immigrants abroad are now facing a massive backlash from their Muslim counterparts after the newspaper ‘The Irish Daily Celestial Body’ claimed it ‘accidentally’ printed the name of ‘Mohammad’ in a Comic Sans font today. Ironically the headline in the daily tabloid that read ‘Idiot French Print Another Mohammed Cartoon’ was meant to favour the islamic… Read more »

Electric Ireland: Price Hikes Unavoidable As ‘Electricity Pole Crops’ Fall Victim To Wet Summer

ENERGY provider Electric Ireland (formally ESB) announced today that a new 6% increase in electricity prices was ‘unavoidable’ due to a poor yield in ‘electricity polecrops’ this Summer. The energy firm reported a drastic drop in the number of electricity poles harvested this year and expects a similar price increase in January 2013. CEO of the company Pat O’Doherty… Read more »

Worst Day For ‘Knacker Drinking’ In 26 Years To Dampen Leaving Cert Results

PROBABLY the worst day for knacker drinking in twenty six years is to dampen leaving cert celebrations today after Met Eireann warned students earlier to remain indoors while a huge storm front sweeps across the country. The Irish National Meteorological Service forecasts up to 50mm of rain to fall today, with dangerous outdoor drinking conditions expected across… Read more »

High Court Considering ‘On The Spot Fines’ For Sexual Assault Cases Involving Rich Businessmen

THE IRISH high court today said it is considering ‘on the spot fines’ for all sexual assault cases brought against the upper classes. After a land mark case this morning involving aviation broker Anthony Lyons, Judge Desmond Hogan said the new approach will free up an already crowded prison/court system and enable the wealthy to keep spending… Read more »