Category: LIFESTYLE


High Court Considering ‘On The Spot Fines’ For Sexual Assault Cases Involving Rich Businessmen

THE IRISH high court today said it is considering ‘on the spot fines’ for all sexual assault cases brought against the upper classes. After a land mark case this morning involving aviation broker Anthony Lyons, Judge Desmond Hogan said the new approach will free up an already crowded prison/court system and enable the wealthy to keep spending… Read more »

Death Of Young Woman Even More Tragic Now That She Was ‘A Fine Thing’

THE untimely death of 21-year-old Jessica Harris last Tuesday evening was said to be even ‘more tragic now’ after images released by her family reveal what an absolute ‘fine thing’ she really was. Thousands of people across the country have swamped national newspapers and internet forums with condolence letters and comments voicing their absolute disgust at the… Read more »

Annoying Bastard Ice-Cream Van Guy ‘Taking The Absolute Piss Now’, Says Everybody

EVERYBODY living in housing estates across the country have claimed the annoying bastard ice-cream van guy is just ‘taking the absolute piss now’, it has emerged this week. Hundreds of thousands of people have slammed the ill-timing and general existence of the truck drivers, claiming ‘they only drive around to annoy residents who just sat down from work.’ More… Read more »

Drinking Coffee Makes You Live Longer Until We Change Our Minds Again, Say Researchers

PEOPLE who drink coffee live longer than non-drinkers, but researchers may change their minds again next week, a special report into the hot drink claimed today. Scientists found that compared with people who did not drink coffee, subjects who consumed large amounts of coffee were definitely living longer than the other ones they looked at a while… Read more »

Theory on ‘Invisible’ Dark Matter Which Holds Universe Together Is ‘Absolute fairytale’, Says Pope

THE POPE has laughed-off sciences latest theory on ‘dark matter’, saying that the idea of an invisible force that holds the entire universe together is an ‘absolute fairytale’. The Holy see slammed the hypothesis earlier this week and asked people who believed in the idea to ‘get a reality check’. A spokesman for the Vatican told… Read more »