Local Man Doesn’t Recognise Catalonia’s Independence

WATERFORD man Tommy Brophy will not recognize Catalonia’s declaration of independence from Spain, it has been confirmed today. The full-time son of two made the statement shortly after the political turmoil in Spain intensified on Friday as the Madrid government dismissed Catalonia’s president and parliament hours after the region declared independence. “Who the fuck are Caledonia… Read more »

How To Cook Raw Sewage

WITH 10 tonnes of raw sewage being pumped into rivers and seas around Ireland every minute, it is more important now than ever to learn how to cook it thoroughly, thus insuring the best nutritional value from your locality’s urban waste. The brilliant thing about raw sewage is the fact that it is free and conveniently distributed to a total of 44… Read more »

Girlfriend’s Haircut Cost €80, Somehow

LOCAL man Kenneth Guiney has expressed utter disbelief as to how his girlfriend’s haircut cost eighty euro, especially as it now looks just as long as it did this morning. Jennifer O’Lennon headed to get her hair done in town this morning at 11, before arriving back to the Tramore apartment she shares with Guiney… Read more »

​BREAKING: Limerick Man Swears He Didn’t Invite Facebook Friend To Messenger There

A LIMERICK city man has denied any accountability after a conversation with one of his Facebook friends ended with an impromptu invite to the social network’s messenger phone application. According to the Facebook message, James Tobin, (52), who lives on the Ballysimon road, allegedly invited long-time friend Denis Carberry to the chat, despite it being… Read more »

Dad To Spend Next 30 Years Closing Doors In House

WATERFORD parent Sean Fallon has resigned himself to the fact that the next thirty years of his life will be spent running around the three-bedroom house closing over doors that were left open by his wife Rebecca and their son James. James, who recently learned to tiptoe up enough to open the handle of a… Read more »