Category: Hororscopes

WWN Horoscopes

Husband number 4 asked me for a divorce this morning so excuse me if I don’t feel like telling you about your shitty little lives. If you’re that desperate just look over last week’s horoscopes. WWN Horoscopes

WWN Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 This week friends, family and coworkers will point out how what a wonderful and caring person you are. If only they knew about that homeless person you ran over. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Shhh… they’re watching us. They see and hear everything. Gemini May 21 – June… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 Do you want the bad news or the bad news first? Taurus April 20 – May 20 This week you will finally meet your birth mother. What do you mean you didn’t know you were adopted. Gemini May 21 – June 20 Jesus, just had a read over your… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Welcome to WWN’s weekly look at what the planets have in store for you. Keep up to date with all your astronomy needs every Monday. For previous entries see waterfordwhispersnews.com/category/horoscopes/ Aries March 21 – April 19 Uranus is in Jupiter’s love zone… wait, hang on. I just want some credit for doing this gig for… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Welcome to WWN’s weekly look at what the planets have in store for you. Keep up to date with all your astronomy needs every Monday. For previous entries see waterfordwhispersnews.com/category/horoscopes/ Aries March 21 – April 19 You can’t understand why you’re so unhappy, and that’s okay. However, Saturn’s ascension above Virgo’s moon won’t make it… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 Bruno Mars is in ascension, which means this week your head will be filled with catchy but empty pop songs. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Spoiler alert! You die. Gemini May 21 – June 20 Don’t listen to your friends, it is time to ask out that guy… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 There’s many ways to skin a cat, but you should just throw little Snuffles in the bin. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Oh, I dunno…write a song or something? Just keep busy. Gemini May 21 – June 20 If you build it, they will come. No, I’m not… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 A book club is a great way to gather with people who are smarter than you. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Others are quite receptive to your style and ideas this week, but not the stars. The stars think you’re a worthless piece of shit and don’t even deserve… Read more »

WWN Horoscope

Aries March 21 – April 19 This is the winter of your discontent. Taurus April 20 – May 20 You’ve never thought much of working alone in a lighthouse for long periods of time before, but suddenly all your friends and family seem to think you’d be perfect for the job. Gemini May 21 –… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 One in the hand maybe worth more than two in the bush, but if you don’t find the rest of that stash you lost by Friday, you’ll get two behind the ear. Taurus April 20 – May 20 You’re still young, but this week you eventually learn that wearing… Read more »