DEADLIER than cigarettes, alcohol and heroin combined, the average household television set is the root cause of countless illnesses. In association with the HSE, the Mothers Association of Ireland (MAI) has recently released the top five ailments acquired by sitting too close to a TV, as well as tips on how to avoid them. 1)… Read more »
RTÉ have released details of their upcoming programming for the Autumn season, with a brand new sitcom based on the daily operation of the health service receiving the slot vacated by the cancellation of Republic Of Telly. ‘It Hurts When I Laugh’ will feature several RTÉ favourites starring as a team of HSE officials as… Read more »
LOCAL coeliac James Harkin has tried everything at this stage; gluten free bread, gluten free beer, gluten free chocolate, gluten free jam. However, this past weekend he tried something that he hasn’t had since his diagnosis four years ago; a gluten free conversation. Harkin, 38, managed to go out for a meal with his friends… Read more »
READING from the same carefully prepared statement issued the last 49 times, a report into the HSE revealed myriad shortcomings in the health service which had catastrophic implications for vulnerable members of society, Taoiseach Enda Kenny explained that there may be an extremely remote chance of consequences for those responsible for the failure to protect… Read more »
10AM, and our dietary expert has us up earlier than we’ve been up in months. We’re about to partake in the Poultry0 Diet, a revolutionary new way of eating that experts claim will knock the weight off us faster than any fad diet in history. We’re still carrying a bit of Xmas weight (it is… Read more »
A COUNTY Waterford doctor has broken all previous records for the number of asthma inhalers prescribed, claiming that 99% of his patients are currently using the device. Speaking from his surgery in the city centre, Dr. Terry Whelan popped open a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate, stating that his medical colleagues will ‘be sick’ when they… Read more »
IN a bid to make sure that his weekly weigh-in has as impressive a weigh-drop as possible, local dieter Martin Killingham makes sure to strip naked and take the dump of a lifetime before getting on the scales, WWN can reveal. Waterford native Killingham has battled with his weight for years after discovering just how amazing… Read more »
A LOCAL man has been rushed to hospital for an emergency alcohol infusion, after collapsing from the effort of staying off the drink for the entire 31 days of ‘Dry January’. Michael O’Shanaran, 28, undertook the Dry January challenge after assurances from friends, family and co-workers that he might need to ‘go a bit handy… Read more »
HOSPITALS up and down the country have finally admitted to scheduling appointments for patients way earlier than needed, just for ‘shits and giggles’. Many patients attending hospital for scans, check-ups or outpatient procedures are told to be there at 8am and subsequently left to sit in the waiting room for hours on end while doctors… Read more »
IN A rare interview with the press, lung cancer, a malignant set of tumours found in the lungs, which causes great distress to those it afflicts, has spoken exclusively to WWN about its ongoing prevalence. “When it comes to changing people’s lives forever, I don’t discriminate or favour any one group in particular really,” lung… Read more »