LAWYERS for the human race have today started legal proceedings against God, the alleged creator of man over a series of design flaws in the human body. America’s biggest law firm, Latham & Watkins, are expected to sue God the almighty through the Vatican for a staggering 23 trillion euros, one of the biggest compensation claims… Read more »
“YOU get a medical card!” cried Minister For Health Simon Harris this morning, excitedly. “And you get a medical card! And you get a medical card! And you!” The Fine Gael TD beamed as he announced plans to urgently provide legislation by October in a bid to provide medical cards for thousands of sick children… Read more »
STUDIES have shown that almost 100% of humans aren’t eating nearly enough silage, with scientists currently trying to evaluate the potential health risks if this trend continues. Silage, a hearty and warming food that is readily available, is normally fed to livestock in the winter as a way of keeping them from dying. However, a stunning… Read more »
THERE has been widespread shock and confusion at the news that Ireland’s national health executive, the HSE, has spontaneously combusted. News agencies learned earlier this morning that at precisely 5.34am, an intense searing sound was heard coming from every part of the HSE, before a huge boom echoed across the Nation. Eye witnesses described the… Read more »
A NEW study into the prevalence of cocaine use among Irish adults has found that moderate use of the drug has some astounding beneficial health factors, including increased tolerance to alcohol, a better sex life and can even eradicate the need for sleep in some subjects. The study, which followed the cocaine habits of 435 parents over a six… Read more »
THE OWNER of the Beacon Hospital, Denis O’Brien, is believed to be looking forward to the proposed new health service model put forward by Fine Gael which could see private firms brought in to takeover failing hospitals. The minority government is said to be keen on putting in place a number of benchmarks and targets… Read more »
ACCORDING to media reports the HSE and the Dept. of Health are seeking to reallocate €12 million of the €35 million mental health budget to other areas of the Nation’s health services which are deemed to have more urgent needs. The minister with responsibility for mental health, Kathleen Lynch has put on record her concern… Read more »
RECOGNISING that you have gluten intolerance is not the easiest thing to do as the symptoms can sometimes overlap with other health issues making it difficult to distinguish what is causing what. In a recent survey, 93% of people who have a gluten intolerance have had to diagnose the disease themselves without any professional help,… Read more »
AS all sexually proficient men and women are well aware, a good sneeze is the equivalent to one eighth of an orgasm. The sensory pleasure of eight successive sneezes would result in a glorious sensation akin to the most mind blowing of orgasms, yet such a streak of sneezes remains elusive to the average person;… Read more »
THE world’s leading doctors are at a loss to explain one Irish woman’s disturbing and debilitating condition which sees her grow older and older with each passing day. “It’s not something I would notice myself day to day, but then a year goes by and I have this skin which seems to sag or contract,… Read more »