DESPITE the recent months bringing a legion of disagreements over the Irish border, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and Theresa May have finally found some common ground in the form of amusing anecdotes over how dysfunctional their country’s health systems have become on their watch, WWN can reveal. With winter bringing a very precedented influx in patient… Read more »
THIS season’s Minister for Health, Simon Harris, has officially said sorry to patients for the fact they personally got sick at the same time, stating that he is committed to coasting through the situation as best he can. Speaking with his mouth earlier today, Mr. Harris said he would like to miraculously cure all the 592 people currently left waiting on… Read more »
WITH a new year comes a new focus and determination to get that little bit healthier and 2018 will prove no different for many people around the world. WWN Health is all too familiar with the mistakes people make choosing the wrong exercise regime or diet fad that just can’t sustain itself and will see… Read more »
MEASURES are being put in place to combat the stark news that almost a third of Irish children are now classed as overweight, such as the new tax on sugary drinks, and the renaming of McDonald’s Happy Meals as something more like ‘eating can’t make you happy’ meals. The surge in childhood obesity has sent… Read more »
IRISH patients suffering from scoliosis, a medical condition in which a person’s spine develops a sideways curve, may have to travel to first world countries with modern day health care systems for surgery. Nearly 300 young children suffering with scoliosis and living on the impoverished emerald isle are currently on a waiting list for surgery, with many suffering through years of crippling pain… Read more »
HAVING taken a bit of a tumble over the weekend, we here at WWN found ourselves in our local A&E department this morning after our GP took a look at our swollen arm and referred us for an X-ray to make sure nothing was broken. A routine examination, we were assured. Nothing that would take… Read more »
A LISMORE man is counting his lucky stars after coming within inches of killing himself earlier today in his kitchen, WWN can reveal. Geoff Higgins, a 32-year-old IT consultant, was preparing his breakfast just like any other morning only to feel the eery hand of Death brush against him. “Coffee, banana, toast with several clumps… Read more »
“LEFT? Left! Or… the right one? Yeah, the right one was the right one, or shit, was it the wrong one?” The inner pondering of highly accomplished surgeon Dr. Gideon O’Connell O’Shea revealed a medical professional questioning whether or not he had taken out the correct lung from a patient as part of a lung… Read more »
THERE were tense scenes in Dublin City centre today as a crack team of IT specialists enlisted by the government to ward off any ill effects from the WannaCry malware gathered around the HSE’s only functioning computer. The 12 experts, whose CVs will be checked by the government sometime next month, stared nervously at the… Read more »
SIMON HARRIS’ political star continues to rise as the Minister for Health unveiled radical plans for the HSE, which could see healthcare blame shifting revolutionised in the coming years. With the HSE averaging 34 scandals per hour, a hospital waiting list just shy of an imaginary number you make up when trying to illustrate just… Read more »