REPORTS are coming into WWN headquarters describing a situation at a house party on Saturday night, where it is believed that one pathetic teenager was unable to down a naggin of raw spirits in one go. The ability to “skull” large amounts of alcohol is essential to any Irish teenager who hopes to gain the… Read more »
AVID gym user Nathan Cooney arrived at his local gym early this morning to really go to work on burying down his mountain of insecurities, WWN has learned. Frustrated with himself for not tending to myriad self esteem issues in his last session, in which he mainly did cardio, the 25-year-old turned his attention to… Read more »
CHANCES are you’ve been vomiting the wrong way your whole life, and that mistake is very detrimental to your health, scientists have revealed this week. How many of you actually think about how you crouch over the toilet bowl when you puke while ill? Turns out, it’s something you should consider. Scientists at Trinity College… Read more »
CONCERN has been expressed for a pregnant Waterford woman as it appears her hands have been glued to her belly for some months now, WWN can reveal. Seven months into her pregnancy Tramore woman, Rachel Langan, has been spotted in public with her hands permanently placed against her belly with increasing frequency sparking serious concern… Read more »
A GROUP of concerned Wicklow parents has urged fast food giant McDonald’s to open a new outlet a little further away than initially planned, which is set to be built just 100 metres from a number of local schools, echoing similar calls from parents nationwide. McDonald’s predatory tactics of forcing parents to bring their children… Read more »
WATERFORD mother Grainné Filan has given her slow descent into alcoholism the humorous and wry nickname ‘wine o’clock’, WWN has learned. The 49-year-old mother of three has referred privately to her consistent and worrisome consumption of both red and white wines with the words ‘wine o’clock’ followed by a short but loud giggle, much to… Read more »
AN EXPECTANT couple who attended their 20-week scan earlier today may have appeared to be following everything the sonographer was talking about, but closer inspection reveals they were just nodding along the whole time. Cathal and Sheila Brennan, currently expecting their first baby, were in the maternity hospital in Holles Street, Dublin this morning for… Read more »
A DUBLIN woman currently in her ninth hour of labour with her third child has just nipped out to the front of the Rotunda hospital for a quick smoke, sources have confirmed. Dressed in a bright pink dressing gown, Martha Kearns had a well-earned couple of cigarettes between contractions at the front of the maternity… Read more »
FOLLOWING the worrying news that the consumption of bacon, ham and sausages can lead to cancer, Waterford man and avid meat eater Jonathan Kilgallon has confirmed he will reduce his meat intake by 0%. “Fuck that, I love a good fry,” Kilgallon is believed to have shouted at his TV yesterday evening while watching a… Read more »
AS nurses at St Vincent’s Hospital begin work-to-rule action, WWN can exclusively reveal that these health workers, who have a disgusting expectation of a modern, well functioning health service, are in fact money mad millionaires who just want to line their own pockets. Above is the home of Galway based nurse Heather O’Brien. The mother… Read more »