Category: HEALTH

Overweight Man ‘Carries It Well’

A LOCAL man has been reassured by family and friends that his escalating weight is nothing to worry about, with the majority of his inner circle insisting that he ‘carries it well’. Mark Rice, who works in IT, had reportedly commented on his excess 15 kilos last week to his wife Trisha, after weighing himself… Read more »

Harris ‘Sorry’ Everybody Getting Sick At The Same Time

THIS season’s Minister for Health, Simon Harris, has officially said sorry to patients for the fact they personally got sick at the same time, stating that he is committed to coasting through the situation as best he can. Speaking with his mouth earlier today, Mr. Harris said he would like to miraculously cure all the 592 people currently left waiting on… Read more »

Irish Scoliosis Patients May Travel To 1st World Country For Surgery

IRISH patients suffering from scoliosis, a medical condition in which a person’s spine develops a sideways curve, may have to travel to first world countries with modern day health care systems for surgery. Nearly 300 young children suffering with scoliosis and living on the impoverished emerald isle are currently on a waiting list for surgery, with many suffering through years of crippling pain… Read more »

Man Cheats Death After Noticing Mold On Slice Pan

A LISMORE man is counting his lucky stars after coming within inches of killing himself earlier today in his kitchen, WWN can reveal. Geoff Higgins, a 32-year-old IT consultant, was preparing his breakfast just like any other morning only to feel the eery hand of Death brush against him. “Coffee, banana, toast with several clumps… Read more »