Category: HEALTH

Zoo Panda’s Finally Mate After Introduction Of Samantha Brick Mask

A pair of Chinese pandas at Edinburgh Zoo have finally mated after a Samantha Brick mask was placed on the female bears face. Tian Tian and Yang Guang will hopefully have babies this year thanks to a card board cut out of the beautiful woman’s face, Edinburgh Zoo’s press officer told WWN today. The successful attempt to mate followed other attempts on Tuesday and Wednesday were it seemed the male panda had no interest in the ordinary looking female…. Read more »

Half Of Teens Back ID Cards To Help Remember Name And Address When Drunk

PRESSURE is mounting on the Irish Government to introduce a national identity card scheme following a survey which found that over half of teenagers feel this would help them remember important personal details when drunk. The WIT survey asked over 4,000 teenagers across the country what they thought about the introduction of a compulsory ID… Read more »

Over 98,000 Motorists Still Pick Nose Every Day.

MORE than 98,000 drivers a day are picking their nose while driving. A new WIT survey comes just two days after a Tramore man knocked down a prize heifer outside a Kilmeadan farm while ‘pick driving’ on his way to work. Under the Road Traffic Act 2009, drivers caught fondling their nostrils while driving will… Read more »

Woman ‘Ecstatic’ After Abducting Newborn Baby

A CORK woman who stole a 2-week-old girl from the local Maternity hospital said she is absolutely ‘ecstatic’ today after evading Gardai and search-parties the past two days. After some very careful planning, Theresa Power snatched the child from hospital on Monday and is said to be very happy with her newly aquired baby girl. “Its… Read more »

Really Scary Animal-Flu News Story Due, Warn Experts

HUNDREDS of Irish people may die and thousands more suffer serious bouts of anxiety from watching intimidating animal-flu news bulletins, an expert group of Waterford scientists have warned today. It recommends that the nation consider abandoning all forms of aggressive news propaganda during such periods and just carry on with their every day lives. It also says… Read more »