Category: HEALTH

Miami Wins Right To Host The 2012 Obese Olympic Games.

Finally, America gets an Olympics. It has been announced that the 2012 Obese Games will be taking place in Miami, Florida. In a vote of high drama and nervous eating, the bustling American city of beaches, Disneyland resorts and fat retired old people, beat 17 other cities around the world for the opening of the… Read more »

Woman ‘Ecstatic’ After Abducting Newborn Baby

A CORK woman who stole a 2-week-old girl from the local Maternity hospital said she is absolutely ‘ecstatic’ today after evading Gardai and search-parties the past two days. After some very careful planning, Theresa Power snatched the child from hospital on Monday and is said to be very happy with her newly aquired baby girl. “Its… Read more »

Really Scary Animal-Flu News Story Due, Warn Experts

HUNDREDS of Irish people may die and thousands more suffer serious bouts of anxiety from watching intimidating animal-flu news bulletins, an expert group of Waterford scientists have warned today. It recommends that the nation consider abandoning all forms of aggressive news propaganda during such periods and just carry on with their every day lives. It also says… Read more »

New Death Penalty Points System Tames Chinese Drivers

 The number of road accidents in China has almost dropped 100 per cent in the first half of this year after the introduction of death penalty points and on the spot executions, culminating in disqualification from life. Statistics released this month indicate that the number of accidents in Beijing in the first 6 months of… Read more »