Adams Denies Involvement In Last Nights Primetime Interview

SINN FEIN leader Gerry Adams repeatedly denied any involvement in a televised interview with Miriam O’Callaghan on RTE’s ‘Prime Time’ last night. Mr. Adams told WWN earlier that the interview was ‘staged’ by the national broadcaster and a lookalike actor was paid to answer the presenters questions in a very unprofessional manner indeed. “I wasn’t even in… Read more »

‘B*Witched’ Still Fucking Brutal, Says People That Hear

EVERYONE that can hear has confirmed this week that Irish girl-band ‘B*Witched’ are still fucking brutal, calling for new guidelines to be introduced into group come-backs. Thousands of hearing people advised the music industry that band reunions only work if the band was any good in the first place. “If it didn’t work the first… Read more »

Yer Man From That Thing Dies Aged 86

YER MAN from that thing has passed away last night in New York aged 86, it was reported earlier today. The actor, who was on loads of things on TV, was said to be suffering from a short illness at the time. Minister for Arts, Heritage, and the Gaeltacht Jimmy Deenihan said he would be… Read more »

Cruise Finally Awarded Irish Heritage Cert For Outstanding Performance In Far And Away

AMERICAN ACTOR Tom Cruise has finally received an Irish heritage certificate in Dublin today to commend his ‘outstanding performance’ in the 1992 box office smash ‘Far and Away’. Tainiste Eamon Gilmore presented the Hollywood star  at Iveagh House with a framed certificate of his Irishness, and asked the 50-year-old if he would say something in the Irish accent… Read more »

Government Calls For Immediate Inquiry Into Latest Love/Hate Rumour

THE GOVERNMENT has called for an immediate inquiry into the latest Love/Hate rumour that actor, Robert Sheehan, who plays lovable rogue Darren, maybe back for another season. Dail members heard today that the character was shot at point blank range in the gripping series finale last December, but since the actor was spotted on the set of RTE’s award-winning drama yesterday, it now transpires that… Read more »

Bill Roache Appologises For Fucking Your Mom Last Night

CORONATION STREET actor Bill Roache said today he was “very sorry” for banging your mother last night in a 12 hour “fuck-fest”. The 80-year-old, who has played Ken Barlow in the ITV soap for more than 50 years, told Waterford Whispers News that he was absolutely ‘shattered’ from making your mum perform numerous sexual acts on him and apologised… Read more »