Putting Pencils Between Your Knuckles & Pretending To Be Wolverine ‘Perfectly Acceptable’, Finds Study

A RECENT study has revealed that pretending to be the popular Marvel character ‘Wolverine’ by putting three pens, three pencils, three knives from the drawer or indeed three of anything between your knuckles is a perfectly normal, everyday part of being a human person. Wolverine, the tortured ex-special forces mutant featured in the X-Men series… Read more »

Harrison Ford In Weekly Plane Crash

Locked into a contract with a number of movie studios, the terms of which dictate Ford maintains his ‘cool aging actor who is indestructible’ persona resulted in yet another near disaster as a plane he was piloting had a close call with a passenger plane. “Harrison was not attempting to do just about anything to… Read more »

“I Rubbed My Eyeballs With A Cheese Grater To Make It Stop” Late Late Show Valentines Special Complaints In Full

RTE received over 300 complaints following it’s Late Late Show Valentine’s Day special after promising the “most debauched and depraved” night of Irish television. Dozens of middle Irelanders flocked to phone lines and electronic email services to voice their disdain for last Friday’s show, with the national broadcaster also receiving a total of 10 formal… Read more »

Man Actually Believes Girlfriend When She Says She Doesn’t Think About Jamie Dornan During Sex

A WATERFORD woman has done the impossible and convinced her boyfriend of 7 years that she does not retreat into fantasies of being ravaged by Jamie Dornan while they engage in intercourse, WWN has learned. Lismore local Rachel Healy confirmed to her partner David Griffin that the broad shoulders, flawless face and puddle-inducing abs of… Read more »