AS the EU’s ruling against Apple in a tax case continues to dominate the headlines, WWN takes a closer look at Tim Cook: Name: Timothy Cook Age: 55 Occupation: CEO of Apple, nerd. Maniac capitalist hell bent on the destruction of mankind, possibly. Why is he in the news: due to an EU ruling, which… Read more »
MINISTER for finance Michael Noonan has clicked ‘close’ on a recent update from Apple, claiming that it’s probably unnecessary and he hasn’t got the patience for dealing with it right now. The update, recently approved by a European Commission in to the tax affairs of the tech giants, popped up on Noonan’s computer earlier today, and… Read more »
A LOCAL businessman in the Waterford area of Europe has disguised himself as a multinational business plying its trade in Ireland to pay what economic experts have referred to as ‘fuck all tax’. “Don’t tell anyone boi, but ya can take the absolute piss if you pretend yer one of dem companies that does be… Read more »
SHARES in tech giant Apple took an unprecedented tumble today, as Irish rock group U2 announced their next album was nearing completion, and could possibly see a release in September or October of this year. The news sent icy blasts of pure fear through the souls of iTunes users worldwide, as they remembered the dark… Read more »
FANS of the 2008 financial crisis were delighted at the news that a recent stress-test of Irish banks have brought about a trip down memory lane, with glaring holes showing up across several Irish financial institutions along with huge numbers of politicians and banking officials rushing to assure the population that ‘everything is grand’. Tests… Read more »
THERE were fun and festivities for a full two minutes earlier today as Apple allowed labourers in their Chinese factories a rare moment of rest to celebrate the 1 billionth iPhone sold. CEO Tim Cook ‘OK’ed’ the 120 second break as sales figures for the mould-breaking smartphone, now heading into its 7th generation, crossed the… Read more »
WWN’s visionary owner and all round infallible genius Declan O’Ryan bestows yet more priceless business wisdom on you, our dear readers. If you repeat any of this in public, claiming I advised you in any capacity on this, I will sue you so hard your arse will tighten up at the mere mention of my… Read more »
NEWS that the average salary of a chartered accountant in Ireland has climbed to over €100,000, has served as another reminder their sizeable income is still the most compelling thing about them. While engaging in interesting small talk with accountants has always been rumoured to occur occasionally, but never proven, sustained levels of amusing exchanges… Read more »
THE long-running sale of furniture and electrical goods in superstore Harvey Norman is to come to an end next week, with everything returning to full price for the first time in 15 years. Although the retail giants have threatened that the sale “must end soon”, many people we spoke to admitted that they never truly… Read more »
