Category: BUSINESS


Bewildered Ahern Struggling To Acquire ‘Cash Donations’ From ‘Friends’ To Help Pay Tribunal Legal Bills

BERTIE AHERN is finding it increasingly difficult to get cash donations from business friends to help pay his €500k Mahan tribunal legal bill, a source close to the former Taoiseach said today. The €150,000 a year ‘retiree scumfuck who oversaw the total annihilation of the entire Irish property market’ is said to have exhausted all… Read more »

FÁS Introduce New Argos/Ikea Flat-Pack Furniture Assembly Course

FAS is to introduce a new Argos/Ikea flat-pack furniture assembly course at its Waterford Training Centre, in response to the growing problem of cryptic instruction manuals. The news comes as the popular ‘How to change a car wheel’ course shuts down after eight years in operation. The Flat pack assembly course will provide places for… Read more »

O’Sullivan’s Head Shop Closes After 86 Years

A HEAD shop that has been keeping Waterford lit since 1924 has become the latest victim of the governments ‘party pooper’ regime. O’Sullivan’s Head Shop was well known for selling traditional psychoactive substances using old fashioned pipes and bongs, but has closed after the banning of 90% of its stock. “We are absolutely devastated at the news”… Read more »

Landmark Island Sold For Loss At €80bn

THE 74,000 Km2 island of Ireland has been sold under the hammer for €80bn after originally carrying a price tag of €900bn earlier this week. Currently operating as a small country, the Republic of Ireland was sold by online property website Daft.ie to a group of European investors called the IMF. On the west coast… Read more »