Category: BUSINESS


Euro Crisis Over After Central Bank Employee Spills Coffee On Main Computer, Erasing Billions In Debt

          EUROPEAN countries rejoiced today after an 18-month sovereign debt crisis was brought to an end when a central bank employee accidentally spilled a skinny caramel Machiatto on the ECB’s main computer, erasing billions of euros in world dept. IT worker Nathaniel King said he was performing checks on the computers mouse lead when he… Read more »

Wallace Devastated As Bank Seize All Three Pink Polo Shirts

WEXFORD TD Mick Wallace, who used to own three pink polo shirts,  says he is “devastated” after ACC bank officials moved in and seized  the property at 10am this morning. The shirts, which were bought in Michael Guineys over a 14 year period, are now scheduled for sale by auction on November 14th. “They literally took… Read more »

Bewildered Ahern Struggling To Acquire ‘Cash Donations’ From ‘Friends’ To Help Pay Tribunal Legal Bills

BERTIE AHERN is finding it increasingly difficult to get cash donations from business friends to help pay his €500k Mahan tribunal legal bill, a source close to the former Taoiseach said today. The €150,000 a year ‘retiree scumfuck who oversaw the total annihilation of the entire Irish property market’ is said to have exhausted all… Read more »

FÁS Introduce New Argos/Ikea Flat-Pack Furniture Assembly Course

FAS is to introduce a new Argos/Ikea flat-pack furniture assembly course at its Waterford Training Centre, in response to the growing problem of cryptic instruction manuals. The news comes as the popular ‘How to change a car wheel’ course shuts down after eight years in operation. The Flat pack assembly course will provide places for… Read more »

O’Sullivan’s Head Shop Closes After 86 Years

A HEAD shop that has been keeping Waterford lit since 1924 has become the latest victim of the governments ‘party pooper’ regime. O’Sullivan’s Head Shop was well known for selling traditional psychoactive substances using old fashioned pipes and bongs, but has closed after the banning of 90% of its stock. “We are absolutely devastated at the news”… Read more »