Category: BUSINESS


Bewildered Ahern Struggling To Acquire ‘Cash Donations’ From ‘Friends’ To Help Pay Tribunal Legal Bills

BERTIE AHERN is finding it increasingly difficult to get cash donations from business friends to help pay his €500k Mahan tribunal legal bill, a source close to the former Taoiseach said today. The €150,000 a year ‘retiree scumfuck who oversaw the total annihilation of the entire Irish property market’ is said to have exhausted all… Read more »

New Social Network ‘Life’ Sweeps The Globe

A NEW social Network called ‘Life’ has been taking the world by storm and is already being topped as the number one platform for social interaction among friends and relatives. Launched only 3.85 billion years ago, the network has already surpassed 6.5bn members and is expected to reach 7 billion members by the end of… Read more »

FÁS Introduce New Argos/Ikea Flat-Pack Furniture Assembly Course

FAS is to introduce a new Argos/Ikea flat-pack furniture assembly course at its Waterford Training Centre, in response to the growing problem of cryptic instruction manuals. The news comes as the popular ‘How to change a car wheel’ course shuts down after eight years in operation. The Flat pack assembly course will provide places for… Read more »

Aguilera Releases ‘Little Slut’ Perfume.

Christina Aguilera has just launched her new brand of perfume, just in time for Christmas– called Little Slut. The fruity floral musk was said to be the answer to the former ‘Micky mouse club’ members request for a “Kinky young” fragrance. The lacy scent, whose bottle is shaped like a 15 year old girl, aims… Read more »

O’Sullivan’s Head Shop Closes After 86 Years

A HEAD shop that has been keeping Waterford lit since 1924 has become the latest victim of the governments ‘party pooper’ regime. O’Sullivan’s Head Shop was well known for selling traditional psychoactive substances using old fashioned pipes and bongs, but has closed after the banning of 90% of its stock. “We are absolutely devastated at the news”… Read more »