WE’VE all been there. Suffered immeasurable heartache. The moments seared into our brains forever, the pain of it all echoing and reverberating around the chambers of the heart until the day we die. No entity knows this pain like Irish banks – 10 years ago the banks were heartlessly cast aside by an Irish public… Read more »
Granny Smith, the famed Apple magnate whose fortune is valued at €193 billion has died at the age of 91. Georgia Smith was of course more affectionately known as Granny Smith by the rivals she ruthlessly wiped out in the incredibly bloody ‘Apple Wars’ feud of the 1950s. Her resulting victory in the conflict carved… Read more »
Waterford Whispers News is dedicated to bringing you, the public, all the essential news and having discovered injecting the news directly into your veins is illegal (thanks health and safety laws) we will instead deliver it to your eyes and ears in a live setting. Get news’d in the face at the following venues with… Read more »
A 56-YEAR-OLD receptionist working in a Dublin office has slowly been phased out by her employers on the grounds that ‘a young woman with perkier tits is needed front of house’, WWN has learned. Careful to discuss their desire to dispense with the ‘old bag’ on reception in an undocumented fashion, management at Ganley PLC… Read more »
A LOCAL DUBLIN boss sees nothing wrong with emailing you at 10.34pm to follow up on another email he sent at 9.47pm in the evening despite the fact you usually clock off at 5pm and you’re actually on a day off today, WWN can reveal. David Cowans, of Byron Services LTD, who routinely spaces out… Read more »
A NEW 4 kilometre long dog lead launched today will let owners walk their pets from the comfort of their own home while still being able to trip up as many people along the way. Unhappy with shorter models which only let you trip up a handful of pedestrians, the Walker 3000 is a lightweight,… Read more »
A MEETING of some of the country’s top banking officials today quietly discussed how to launch 100% mortgages again to the Irish public without having any negative feedback, WWN has learned. Following in the footsteps of British counterparts, Barclays bank, several of the country’s main commercial banking chiefs began brainstorming this morning on how to crowbar… Read more »
A BRAND new start-up has found an innovative way to overcome the dilapidated state of Irish roads after securing the rights to mass produce NASA’s lunar rovers from the Apollo missions. The Waterford based company has been given the green light to start production on some 40,000 moon buggies which will be set to roll… Read more »
HUNDREDS of thousands of news fans braved cold temperatures overnight to secure their tickets for what is expected to be the greatest and most intelligent live stage show of the world has ever seen. Queues spanning up to four kilometers began building outside Ticketmaster outlets across the country from last week, with desperate fans setting up their camping gear… Read more »
