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“It Breaks Our Hearts To Pay Out Record Shareholder Dividends” Say Oil Executives
WITH Shell paying out $6.5bn to shareholders after a record quarterly profit of $10bn, top fossil fuel executives have spoken ... -
LEGO Store Opening Delayed After Builders Lose Piece
DISASTER struck at the planned opening of Ireland’s first ever LEGO store on Grafton St after structural engineers failed to ... -
Starbucks Unveil Potato Frappuccino To Commemorate Famine
EAGER to fill the gap between Pumpkin Spice season and the Christmas ‘red cup’ campaign, coffee giants Starbucks are to ... -
Best Places To Sell Drugs
WITH a highly competitive marketplace with an overabundance of supply, it has never been harder for a drug dealer to ... -
‘Wind Energy Causes Erectile Dysfunction’ & 5 More Things We Learned From Our Meeting With ...
PEOPLE who think that wind farms are the solution to our energy needs haven’t considered their potentially lethal side effects, ... -
Burning Cash Now Cheaper Than Using Oil & Gas
A NEW consumer study has found that burning euros to heat your home is actually 25% cheaper than consuming oil ... -
“And Then We Said ‘Reducing Gardens By 20%’ Will Solve The Housing Crisis”
AT A lunch catch up amongst industry peers, a group of Irish developers were left in stitches after one developer ... -
“Free Contraception Comes At The Price Of Eternal Damnation”
AS part of WWN’s Opinions series, we give a platform to people we really shouldn’t. This week, it’s the turn ... -
“Reels, Reels, Reels… ” Manic Zuckerberg Repeatedly Screams At Staff During 7-Hour Briefing
EXHAUSTED Meta staff recovering from a 7-hour briefing primarily made up of founder Mark Zuckerberg screaming the word ‘reels’ over ... -
Sweet! Now Give Us Our Bailout Money Back, AIB Told
THE nation has been described as ‘flabbergasted’ after their public outcry over AIB’s decision to go cashless actually caused the ...