Category: BREAKING NEWS


Death Of Young Woman Even More Tragic Now That She Was ‘A Fine Thing’

THE untimely death of 21-year-old Jessica Harris last Tuesday evening was said to be even ‘more tragic now’ after images released by her family reveal what an absolute ‘fine thing’ she really was. Thousands of people across the country have swamped national newspapers and internet forums with condolence letters and comments voicing their absolute disgust at the… Read more »

Annoying Bastard Ice-Cream Van Guy ‘Taking The Absolute Piss Now’, Says Everybody

EVERYBODY living in housing estates across the country have claimed the annoying bastard ice-cream van guy is just ‘taking the absolute piss now’, it has emerged this week. Hundreds of thousands of people have slammed the ill-timing and general existence of the truck drivers, claiming ‘they only drive around to annoy residents who just sat down from work.’ More… Read more »

Facebook Apologises After Confusing Cost Of Market ‘Shares’ With ‘Share Shares’

ANALYSTS at Facebook’s IPO underwriters have admitted today to accidentally pricing actual stock market shares with the social networks own ‘share’ option which is frequently used by its 800 million members. WWN has learned that the research analysts at the company’s lead underwriters – Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, and JP Morgan—had cut their earnings estimates for… Read more »

Drinking Coffee Makes You Live Longer Until We Change Our Minds Again, Say Researchers

PEOPLE who drink coffee live longer than non-drinkers, but researchers may change their minds again next week, a special report into the hot drink claimed today. Scientists found that compared with people who did not drink coffee, subjects who consumed large amounts of coffee were definitely living longer than the other ones they looked at a while… Read more »