Jesus To Lay Off The Meth For Lent This Year

JESUS has vowed to stay off the meth for forty days this year as part of his ritual lent fasting, a source close to the man revealed today. Jesus Christ, who is serving a seven year stretch for manslaughter, has told fellow inmates he will not be leaving his cell for the duration of the… Read more »

36 Feared Dead After Pancake Sale Stampede In Dublin

  EMERGENCY SERVICES say there are still 17 people unaccounted for after a Pancake Tuesday sale went horribly wrong in a Dublin branch of Super Value earlier this morning. At 8am, crowds of bargain hunters swarmed the store to purchase freshly made pancakes from the Bakery department. Witnesses stated after the doors were opened a… Read more »

Middle Aged Guy Delighted He Got The Shift Last Night

INSURANCE BROKER Cyril Murray could hardly contain his delight this morning after finally getting ‘the shift’ in The Foundry nightclub last night after a six year ‘dry spell’. The 48-year-old Dunmore man had originally intended to just go for the one after work and then make it back to his apartment in Ardkeen in time… Read more »