Category: BREAKING NEWS


Ian Paisley Returns Home As Heaven Nor Hell Wants Him

THE Reverend and Right Honourable Ian Paisley has returned home today after being refused access to both heaven and hell, a spokeperson for the the former Northern Ireland First Minister said this morning. The 85-year-old was due to ‘move on’  last month but was turned down by the Kingdom of Heaven shortly after his heart failed. An angel source claims Mr…. Read more »

Outrage As Students Keep College Town In Jobs

HUNDREDS of distressed Waterford citizens were outraged this week as the annual college RAG festivities devastated the town with large injections of cash and jobs. Local businesses were said to be recovering today after what has been called the ‘worst week they have ever put down in their miserable lives’. Publican Michael Toomey told WWN today that he… Read more »

Vatican Makes Bid For Rangers FC

THE VATICAN has made a dramatic bid to buy Rangers FC debt in return for a total conversion to Catholicism and a 100% share in future earnings. Senior members of the Holy See travelled to Glasgow last night for talks with owner Craig Whyte and other members of the 140 year-old football club. Sources told WWN… Read more »

Mourners Post Really Funny Crack ‘Tribute Jokes’ To The Late Great Whitney Houston

THOUSANDS of mourning Irish men and women posted really funny crack ‘tribute jokes’ on Facebook today in an emotional memorial to the late Whitney Houston. The tribute jokes started pouring in seconds after the singers death late last night. The majority of which were sourced from the on-line joke website ‘Sickipedia’. Many mourners opted for… Read more »

Queen ‘Fucking Stoked’ About Jubilee

THE Queen of England said she was ‘fucking stoked’ about her upcoming diamond jubilee celebrations, which will take place on the week-end of the 2-5 of June this year in London. The 85-year-old monarch told press today of her excitement when she arrived in King’s Lynn as she marks the 60th anniversary of her accession to… Read more »

Iran ‘Planning’ To Sneak Into Western Homes And Eat Babies While Parents Sleep

AMERICA’S leading intelligence official, James Clapper, warned today that Iran is planning to eat western babies while unsuspecting parents are asleep in their nice, cosy beds. The US director of national intelligence said Iranian special forces, who are hiding all over the world, were plotting to eat random babies in a sick and evil operation code… Read more »

‘Black Actors Still Being Typecast For Black Roles’, Say Anti-Racism Group

AN anti-racism organisation, Anti-Racist Action (ARA), slammed the film industry today, claiming black actors are still being typecast for black film roles in Hollywood. A survey carried out by the ARA has revealed that black actors still feel that their skin colour does not allow them to play other races like Caucasian or Hispanic in movies. Spokesman for… Read more »