Category: BREAKING NEWS


Criminals Criticise Working Conditions

Following a botched post office robbery in Co. Meath yesterday the Criminal’s Union of Ireland (CUI) has spoken out against the hazardous job conditions its members must work in. It is believed a CUI member was badly injured when his balaclava fell over his eyes and he ran into a shelf knocking himself out during… Read more »

American Gun Enthusiasts Welcome Amazon Air Drone Targets Containing Free Prize

GUN ENTHUSIASTS have welcomed Amazons latest venture in air-delivery technology today, stating the drones will make great target practice with the bonus addition of a free prize. Thousands of excited Americans are expected to line up outside delivery centres once the drone trials start. “This will be like clay-pigeon shooting,” said one Texan. “Only for… Read more »

Astronomy Ireland: ‘Comet Was Some Heap Of Shite’

ASTRONOMY IRELAND confirmed today that Comet ISON was ‘some heap of shite’ after it burned up today passing through the sun’s atmosphere. The crap piece of rock’s 5.5-million-year journey to the inner solar system ended after it broke up like a ‘soggy digestive in a mug of tea’ , astronomers have said. “It was hyped… Read more »

Stephen And Steven Destined To Be Mortal Enemies

As Stephen Quinlan enjoyed a few sociable drinks yesterday evening he was introduced to his future arch nemesis Steven Doyle. Tom Flanagan, Stephen’s best friend since childhood brought along his work colleague Steven feeling the two of them were destined to really hit it off. Tom mentioned to his two friends how they had plenty… Read more »