Marching Band Members Can’t Wait For All That Sweet Ass St. Patricks Day Pussy

MUSICIANS performing with Marching bands in St. Patricks Day parades across the country are this weekend resting themselves in preparation for a deluge of horny groupies following their performances on Monday evening. Bandmasters have begun administering condoms and Vitamin B12 shots in order to help band members survive the sexual onslaught which follows the yearly… Read more »

Dog Has No Clue Where That Ball Went

“I saw him throw it like he always does, but I didn’t see it land” Ben the Chocolate Labrador barked at WWN today. The 3 year old in dog years, who lives with his owner Stephen O’Grady in Wexford, reportedly loved that yellow tennis ball dearly sleeping with it every night in his kennel. According… Read more »

Even Alan Shatter Is Surprised He’s Still Justice Minister

WWN can exclusively reveal that Minister for Justice Alan Shatter is at a loss to explain how exactly it is he has managed to remain in his current role. Following the publication of the Garda Inspectorate’s report on the penalty points scandal the vast majority of the Irish public presumed the Minister, along with Garda… Read more »

Mount’joy’ Prison Considering Name Change

Dublin prison will seek to find new name following inmates consistent disappointment upon first arriving. Mountjoy Prison, located in Dublin City is reportedly giving serious thought to changing its name as inmates have said the name is misleading and gives ‘false hope’. “I thought it was going to be loads nicer on the inside,” shared… Read more »

Bull Calls Out ‘Karate Kid’ To Rematch

THE BULL at the centre of an ongoing family feud in Cork has called on his past opponent to a rematch, following a 30 minute thrashing from school boy John O’Donoghue some time ago. The young karate champion, who successfully fought the bull off from his father, received a bravery award today for his efforts,… Read more »