Category: BREAKING NEWS


Pippa Middleton’s Arse Announces Split With Cheeks

Pippa Middleton’s arse has parted with its cheeks, after an astonishing 28 years together. The buttocks of the younger sister of the Duchess of Cambridge announced on its website, pippamiddletonsarse.com, that the marriage was over after it’s cheeks decided to go its separate ways last week. It wrote: “I am very sad to say that myself and cheeks have parted due to… Read more »

Queen ‘Fucking Stoked’ About Jubilee

THE Queen of England said she was ‘fucking stoked’ about her upcoming diamond jubilee celebrations, which will take place on the week-end of the 2-5 of June this year in London. The 85-year-old monarch told press today of her excitement when she arrived in King’s Lynn as she marks the 60th anniversary of her accession to… Read more »

Rottweiler Mauled to Death by Russian Toddler

THE owner of a purebred Rottweiler screamed in absolute horror as the neighbours 19 month old son mauled her beloved family pet in a vicious and frenzied attack. Oscar was resting in the hot summer sun with its owner when the Russian toddler ran in from next door and pounced on the unsuspecting animal. Several… Read more »

Iran ‘Planning’ To Sneak Into Western Homes And Eat Babies While Parents Sleep

AMERICA’S leading intelligence official, James Clapper, warned today that Iran is planning to eat western babies while unsuspecting parents are asleep in their nice, cosy beds. The US director of national intelligence said Iranian special forces, who are hiding all over the world, were plotting to eat random babies in a sick and evil operation code… Read more »

‘Black Actors Still Being Typecast For Black Roles’, Say Anti-Racism Group

AN anti-racism organisation, Anti-Racist Action (ARA), slammed the film industry today, claiming black actors are still being typecast for black film roles in Hollywood. A survey carried out by the ARA has revealed that black actors still feel that their skin colour does not allow them to play other races like Caucasian or Hispanic in movies. Spokesman for… Read more »

Kitten Does Something Really Fucking Cute For Camera

A YOUNG cat did something really fucking cute for it’s owners camera, who just happened to have her photography studio set up in her house, and has made several online newspapers around the world today. Carmel Murray was taking various shots around the home when she realised her 3 month old kitten was doing really fucking cute things in… Read more »

RTE Replace Entire Cast Of Fair City With Cardboard Cut-Outs Of Kathryn Thomas

RTE have announced their decision today to replace the entire cast of Fair city with cardboard cut-outs of Kathryn Thomas as dramatic new budget cuts hit the station. Over forty cast members were given the bad news on Friday evening during a meeting called by executive producer Brigie de Courcy. Veteran of the show Jim Bartley (Bella Doyle) told WWN today… Read more »