Category: BREAKING NEWS


GAA To Finally End Practice Of Using Blind Umpires

THE GAA has confirmed it is to end its highly controversial practice of only placing the visually impaired in umpire positions in All Ireland Hurling games. The welcome news comes after blind umpires failed to notice a goal scored by Tipperary against Waterford in Sunday’s Munster Championship clash was not in fact a goal, as… Read more »

Local Couple Haven’t Had A Night Out In Ages

SEEKING to correct a trend which has continued unabated for ‘God’s knows how long’, one Waterford couple have declared that they haven’t had a night out in ages, shocking the close knit Waterford county community. Sighting current responsibilities, including working, heading to the gym and raising their child, Tramore couple Michael Harney and Tina Longan… Read more »

Scumbag, Scaldy Or Scrote: What’s The Best Name For Someone With An Inner City Accent?

Scumbag, scaldy, scrote, skanger or knackbag? Chav, chungfella, clingfilm, the head on him, triffid, dazzleplop, lockjawed nazzle twerp, my my my Deliah? Just some of the names ascribed to inherently evil and morally repugnant ‘people’ who dwell within the confines of Ireland’s otherwise glorious cities. And while those names are useful ways of describing someone… Read more »

Government’s ‘Yes’ Honeymoon Lasts 3 Days

THE Government has been asked to return to work following a lengthy honeymoon during which it patted itself on its back for singlehandedly delivering a successful Yes vote in the recent referendum. “Fuc…fiddlesticks, thought maybe that went away” remarked Minister for Health Simon Harris, as he bore witness to nationwide protests over the Cervical Check… Read more »