Author: Gerry McBride

‘Share Packs’ To Be Renamed ‘Packs’

LARGER-than-normal sized packs of crisps and confectionary are to be recalled and rebranded, following a landmark legal ruling that declared eating the entire contents of one of these so-called ‘share packs’ is easily within the remit of a single person. Share packs, the slightly bigger version of snacks such as Cadburys chocolates, crisps such as… Read more »

‘God Save The Queen’ To Be Replaced By ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Theme

PREPARATIONS are underway for the changes that will be required to outward-facing Britishness such as anthems and flags ahead of the October 31st Brexit deadline, with a composer already hired to change the traditional ‘God Save The Queen’ anthem into something more along the lines of HBOs ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ theme. The move comes following… Read more »

How Much Clothing Should A Woman Wear?

WOMEN and their clothing choices continue to be a bone of contention in Irish society, with fresh calls for regulation on the amount of fabric a woman should be wearing at any given time. Although Ireland has always insisted that women dress appropriately by covering up their bodies as much as possible so as to not… Read more »

Prince Andrew Put On Suicide Watch

THE Royal Family has announced that Prince Andrew has been placed on suicide watch, amid fears that the under-pressure Prince may be about to do something that would bring the peerless name of the family into disrepute. Under direct orders from the Queen, the Royal’s favourite son will be kept on watch until such a… Read more »

America Declared A Warzone

NATO have announced that the United States Of America is now officially an active warzone, after finally clocking up enough violent attacks, senseless killings and active combatants to qualify. America made the leap from “rough in places” to “dodgy enough” several years ago following the popularisation of mass shootings among the gun-wielding population, and has… Read more »