We Take Out A Loan With 100% APR To See What’s The Worst That Could Happen

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CASH FLOW problems? Poor credit history? Sort of need to be able to afford silly things like food and rent? Good news!

Ireland is finally becoming the sort of modern and supportive society that allows predatory loan companies charging ridiculously high interest rates for quick loans to operate in Ireland alongside famously airtight regulations that have never seen Irish consumers have to bear the brunt of the damage caused by unscrupulous operators.

Doing our part to dispel the myth that there could some negative fallout from such loans, we emptied our bank account, became a little vulnerable and desperate and we took a loan with 100% APR to see what’s the worst that could happen:

Day 1

It’s actually nice to be able eat food. We were admittedly a little hungry. Now just a week or so to pay back that €600 quid we required food and bills, only now we owe these guys €1200.

Day 5

Okay we’re not panicking but what if the bank that we have our main account in like, fucks up our wages coming in, they’ve done it before after all. It was on the news everything. And not just once, they’ve done it like 6 times to customers or something. What if that happened again? We wouldn’t have money to pay off this new crowd.

Day 11

Just noticed something in the small print with that loan, nothing to worry about but I think we actually owe €1800 now. Probably okay though if we’re late with the money. ‘We are regulated by the Central Bank’ after all. The Central Bank wouldn’t fuck over the public and feed them to the wolves, would they?

Day 16

We cannot stress enough how unenjoyable having someone bursting down your door and breaking your legs is. Honestly, the time in A&E was actually fine, because we were unconscious with the pain while we waited on a trolley.

Day 21

Had some time to look up who we complain to about the whole legs broken after being a few days late with payment thing. So technically the leg breakers don’t work for the moneylender we used, they’re ‘sub-contracted’ so it’s basically like the 100% APR guys didn’t break our legs. Fair enough.

Day 25

The way out of this thing could be to borrow money from another crowd to pay off this crowd but they probably wouldn’t take us right? Credit rating must be seriously shot. There’s no way they’d just give the money.

Day 26

They did!

Day 39

Ah what the fuck? These leg bones were only starting to fuse again. Seriously uncalled for. And now we’ve no house. Not cool. Wait until the Central Bank hears about this, you’re gonna be so sorry!

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