AS MANY parts of the country see warm weather give way to the sort of sporadic rainfall the Department of Tourism never show on its shiny adverts promoting Ireland to tourists abroad, the Irish public has reluctantly rummaged around to find its rain jacket, wellies, cheap umbrella that always breaks, change of clothes and the good umbrella that’s too big and clunky to justify carrying around all day as you’ll look like a complete fool in the event of it not raining at all.
But now that clear sun-filled skies and outdoor activities begin to become a distant memory, what can Irish people do to make the most of the rain? WWN did some research to find out:
1) Open your mouth and hydrate. It’s always important to stay hydrated, why not get some free rain before it ends up in bottled water with too much arsenic or Irish Water pipelines with too much lead where it could fucking kill you.
2) Go for a swim in the shallow end of your local pothole. That’s right, not all outdoor activity is out of bounds. Who doesn’t love a good swim? Those potholes double as fantastic swimming pools.
3) Arrange to meet your arch nemesis on a hill top for your long planned, oft-delayed fight to the death. How dramatic and epic will it look now that you’ll be constantly pissed up from the heavens above? Oh and don’t forget your nunchucks!
4) Drive through puddles and splash pathetic idiots who were stupid enough to walk about in the rain. Veering of all a sudden into a curb side puddle and drenching some poor unfortunate is the God given right of all insufferable pricks. Don’t miss out.
5) Just think of all the moaning you’ll get to do about the shite weather. No one was on board with you giving out about how sunny and warm it was, but now’s your chance to let rip for hours on end, repeating the same complaint over and over again about the weather to everyone you come into contact with it. What a time to be alive!
6) Use the bad weather as an excuse to cancel all socialising with friends, family and co-workers. Depending on how severe rainfall can be, you can even get away with canceling plans for things not happening for months. Kiss goodbye to shitty Christmas visits to aunty Karen!