Government To Lure More Multinationals With ‘Rules Don’t Apply To You Here’ Strategy

MINDFUL of the impending hit the economy will take in the event of a Hard Brexit and in the certainty that they haven’t planned well for this at all, the Irish government is set double down on its seductive ‘the rule don’t apply to you here’ strategy with big multinational companies.

With Fine Gael trumpeting ‘full employment’ jargon and having made the sensible decision to announce a big Ireland 2040 plan despite the risk of a Brexit triggered recession, the government and its departments have had to turn to luring yet more multinationals to Dublin’s ‘Silicon Docks’ while nodding and winking heavily when mentioning ‘no taxation’.

Whether the tax agnostic behemoths of the corporate world take the government up on their offer, it is clear that the successful Global Irish and Ireland Inc branding exercises have been a runaway success ignoring the overdependence on foreign companies who refuse to pay the correct amount of taxes.

Displaying the sort of loose and malleable attitude to corporation tax they’d never show to a citizen who was incorrectly paid 50 cent too much in social welfare, the Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe has made every effort to show just what Ireland can do for multinational tech and manufacturing firms.

“As a sort of visual aide Paschal likes to show a video of a vicious predator like a Lion chasing down a rabbit and completely devouring it and then says to the companies ‘let Ireland be your rabbit’, we thought about adding another video where the Lion pisses all over the rabbit’s corpse, but maybe that’s a bit much,” shared an official from the Department of No Foresight.