Guest Bathroom Towel Fucking Manky, Finds Report

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A VISITOR report on the general state of your guest bathroom and its amenities has found it to be fucking manky, and that you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself, WWN can confirm.

Older than most of your children, the guest bathroom towel contained more bacteria than an underfunded Irish hospital, and if it had legs it would probably walk itself into the washing machine for a well deserved scrub.

Dead skin from between toes, urine, excrement, nasal mucus, ear wax and various other unknown substances were found harbouring in the fabric of the 13-year-old towel, which wasn’t even bought, but more acquired from a hotel which has been closed since the banking crash of 2009.

“There’s always that check you give an unknown towel to guess what part of it has been used previously, whether it rubbed down someone’s hands, face, underarms or scrubbed the underside of hairy wet arse,” the visitor who published the report said, “but this God awful yoke was off the manky scale, and a total write off as far as guest bathroom towels come”.

Following the report, a recommendation for the towel to be dumped at the earliest convenience has been issued, before someone catches ecoli or something, and give that toilet bowl a good scrub too – you filthy pig.

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