Man Thinks He’s Getting Away With Dying His Hair

ONE LOCAL man is barely retaining his grip on reality after it has emerged he actually thinks people are buying the luscious black locks he’s sporting on his head as being 100% natural.

Darren Coman (35) has spent several years now dying his hair an unnatural and disturbing shade of dark, dark purple, mistakenly believing he has not raised any suspicions and that his chemically enhanced hair definitely looks the sort shade of ‘black’ that is consistent with age-defying genes.

“I’m too embarrassed on his behalf to bring it up,” shared Coman’s girlfriend, Sinead, who has seen the Just For Men boxes in the bathroom bin.

“He just needs to own being grey, and no offence to him, he is my partner after all, society has come a long way in accepting equality when it comes to allowing men to dye their hair pink, peroxide blonde but no man is getting away with what he’s trying,” Sinead added.

The scenario is all the more mortifying as Coman has taken to slagging his greying and balding friends on multiple occasions in a bid to boost his own ego.

“He’s like one of those serial killers who leaves little clues around, desperately trying to get caught. That’s why he still has that profile picture up from 2015 where he’s fully fucking grey,” explained Coman’s friend, Brian.

It’s unclear why Coman was motivated to take up dying the head off himself, however if he is anything like any other men his age, the incident that sparked it all off probably involved a woman under 25 referring to him as ‘that old man with the grey hair over there’.