Here’s Your Daily HSE Crisis Round-Up

TIRED of having to read several articles to keep up to date with all the various crises in the HSE? Lucky for you, WWN have compiled this handy guide to keep you up to speed!

Children’s Hospital

Hopes that the woefully over-budget Children’s Hospital project would suddenly shed €500m in expenses and arrive on time and with cash to spare have proved fruitless yet again. As it stands the hospital will arrive when it feels like and cost fuck knows how much. Will this change by tomorrow? Who knows?

Cervical Check

In an almost incredible feat, the HSE has managed to take a situation in which they appeared to be apex villains, incapable of appearing worse… and made themselves appear worse! By appealing against payments to gravely ill women, the government has moved into a whole new level of evil. It’s hard to be annoyed at them, really! It’s not often you see this level of madness!

Rotunda Crisis

Children’s Hospital not putting young enough kids at risk? Never fear, conditions in the Rotunda maternity hospital have deteriorated to the point where they’re now affecting babies as old as ‘brand new’. Better get used to this kind of care, kids! It gets no better from here!

Trolley madness

We haven’t heard any figures today but we’re pretty sure all that is still fucked, too. Hey, dead people don’t vote, right? Seems pointless to keep them around, doesn’t it?

Strike! Strike! Strike!

It’s HSE healthcare workers turn this week; 10,000 porters, kitchen staff, physios, you name it – all set to down tools this Thursday unless the government sorts out, well, everything. Which seems unlikely!

That’s it for now, and by that we mean that’s all we have space to print for now. We could fill nine more pages with stuff, but let’s just say everything’s fucked and leave it at that. Call back tomorrow for another update.