THE government has expressed surprise and annoyance that a number of poor families have refused to live in the social housing units provided for them by the Department Of Housing.
Minister for Housing Eoghan Murphy is said to be incensed by the ingratitude found in families currently living in emergency accommodation, and has stated that a new ruling known as the ‘You’ll Take What You’re Fucking Given’ law may come into effect to combat fussiness when applying for social housing.
Concerns surrounding the suitability of the property, the safety of the surrounding area, the proximity to local amenities and schools and any health and safety concerns will no longer be accepted as excuses for turning down an offered property, and ingrates on the housing list will be put to the back of the queue if they’re not careful.
“There’s a saying that goes ‘beggars can’t be choosers’, that a lot of these beggars don’t seem to be aware of” said a source close to the Department Of Housing.
“Just look at some of the shite these people have said when turning down our generous offers of social housing. ‘There’s a drug den next door’… ‘There’s mould everywhere’… ‘There’s been nine shootings in the area in the last week alone’… see? Ingratitude. Well, enjoy living in a hotel for another three years, you picky bastards”.
Meanwhile, the government have allocated another €3 million to a PR Company to help the public understand that most homeless people either can’t be helped, or don’t want to be helped.