Viagra Container Spillage Leaves East Link Bridge Erect

MOTORISTS in Dublin are to expect severe traffic delays today after a shipping container full of viagra spilled near the East Link bridge leaving it fully erect, WWN can confirm.

Over four tonnes of the erectile dysfunction drug fell off a ship which was being unloaded at the docks shortly before the bridge suddenly sprung into action, sending dozens of motorists sliding back down the bridges long hard shaft.

“One minute I was driving along the bridge and the next the bridge started rising,” explained commuter John Maher, “I ended up in a pile of other cars and trucks at the base of the bridge, which by this stage was throbbing really hard every couple of seconds”.

AA Roadwatch say that traffic is heavy on the Sean Moore Road from the Beach Road junction northbound and is building up to what could be an explosive ending.

“Due to the amount of traffic streaming in we believe there is no other way for them to go but straight off the end of the erect bridge,” a spokesman for AA explained.

“This release of cars may bring the bridge back down to earth in the next hour, but there may be casualties as the cars ejaculate all over the other side of the bridge”.

The spurts will have a “knock-on effect” on the Dublin Port Southbound, filling the rim of its tunnel with traffic.