FINE Gael European hopeful Maria Walsh may have secured the votes of every single person born between 1990 and 1999 with yesterday’s nostalgia-tinged ’90s kid’ video, but a key figure from the former Rose Of Tralee’s past has come forward to speak exclusively to WWN.
“Even as a child, she had a bang of the Blueshirts off her, ” said Walsh’s 25-year old Tamagotchi, who contacted us after seeing Walsh’s video, in which she mentions her fond memories of all things 90s.
“To hear her call me out in a video that promoted her for election when in actual fact I never had enough virtual food to eat, suffered from serious neglect anytime I started beeping, and when it became apparent that I wasn’t giving her enough cred on the playground, I got moved aside to make way for a Nintendog”.
Following Walsh’s Tamagotchi’s brave decision to speak up, several more of the toys and games mentioned in the viral video have also contacted us with their story.
“There were 18 of us crammed into a pocket house only meant to fit one single Polly,” sobbed a clearly still affected Polly Pocket, highlighting that even at a young age, Walsh’s FG approach to housing was in full swing.
“I had to wait at the vets for nearly 19 hours on a trolley after biting my own tail,” added the Snake from Walsh’s Nokia 3310.
“I became president when she was three, so I don’t know how the fuck she remembers me being elected”, mused former President Mary Robinson.
Regardless of the controversy, Walsh’s Buzzfeed-style video appears to have successfully swung the minds of undecided voters who will now flock to the polls in their thousands and forgive a generation of austerity, incompetence and scandal just because someone their age also remembers the lyrics to Cest La Vie.