HOPING to quell public outrage at the upcoming visitation to Ireland by US President Donald J. Trump, the Irish government has reached out to former Trump mistress Stormy Daniels for tips on how to endure having ‘the Donald’ in you.
Former adult actress Daniels famously exposed her affair with the then-reality TV mogul and the subsequent attempts to hush up their tryst, and has since forged a career for herself giving motivational talks on how to maintain one’s sanity and dignity while in the company of a Trump.
With the President expected to visit Ireland in as little as two weeks, Miss Daniels has been rushed in to chair a talk on how to cope when Donald trump first enters you, and how to manage while he moves around, touching everything.
“Ireland has a lot in common with Miss Daniels; they don’t want Trump coming, but are willing to let it happen as it makes good financial sense,” said a spokesperson for the government.
“So far, she’s taught us how to grin and bear it, how to block out the noises that he makes, how to just sit back and think happy thoughts until he’s finished with us, and how we can live with the memories without retching every five minutes for the rest of our life”.
Although more than willing to help, Miss Daniels has been very forthright about how her experience with Trump lasted way less time than Ireland’s will.