Ronnie O’Sullivan Beaten By Lad Who Put £1 Coin On Table

THE snooker world was stunned yesterday after five-time world champion Ronnie O’Sullivan crashed out of this year’s championship to some young lad who simply just walked in off the streets and put his pound coin on the table.

O’Sullivan, real name Ronahldinho O’Sullivan, arrived at the Crucible to take part in the Betfred World Snooker Championship to play whoever was first to show up with a pound for the ball rack, as custom with all ball-and-pocket based stick games.

Challenger 23-year-old James Cahill then shocked snooker fans by going on to beat the veteran 10-8 in a performance that never lost focus despite there being an overweight man playing the Poker machine right beside him who was munching crisps very loudly throughout the game.

“In truth, the youngster should have been at school instead of down the Crucible,” said John Virgo, after this reporter double-checked to make sure John Virgo wasn’t dead.

“We don’t need his mam coming down here, blaming us for keeping him away from the books like it’s our fault… but fair play to him, he put his money down like anyone was entitled to and we’re looking forward to seeing what happens next”.

Cahill will now face whoever shows puts down the next pound coin marker, in the time-honoured ‘winner stays on’ rule of snooker.