THE IRISH public warmly greeted the words of Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport Shane Ross when he confirmed the entire FAI board would resign from their positions in July, however, since this news emerged it has become clear that in a further act of sly japery the board wrote their resignations in slowly disappearing ink.
The hopes of Irish football’s governing body taking a long overdue step towards being run well enough not to be subject to possible criminal investigations have been dashed with one board member going on record to say “lol, only messing! Bought that invisible ink stuff in a joke shop.”
The disappearing ink used only lasted 3 hours before completely fading from the resignation letters which goes some way to account for the fact John Delaney is currently only offering to temporarily step aside from his Executive Vice President role while various inquiries are being conducted.
When the FAI board was asked by a journalist if this meant Delaney would not be receiving his new and as yet still undisclosed EVP salary while not actively working, they fell about the room laughing and encouraged the journalist to try a career in stand up, they were that funny.
To heap more misery and stress of Delaney, leading groups of scientists have requested permission to run tests on the FAI’s former CEO in a bid to find out if he would be the only human being capable of surviving a nuclear holocaust even if he was just metres from the initial blast zone.