AN internal report conducted by the FAI has found that former CEO John Delaney seems to be permanently lodged like dogshit on football boots with no solution being recommended as to how remove it/him.
“He’s wedged right in there and seems to have dried up to produce an almost concrete texture, making it almost impossible to scrape out the little bastard,” a spokesperson inside the Football Association of Ireland explained.
Acting on reports of an awful lingering smell, the FAI insisted that they have tried to remove the Delaney, honestly, only to find remnants of him still firmly embedded between the organisations studs.
“There’s still bits of him left,” another source at the FAI explained, now pointing to senior members and pals of the canine excrement, “many of the board members here made a half arsed attempt to scrape him out completely last week, but alas, you can’t remove dogshit with dogshit – the old boots will just have to be changed for new ones – because it still fucking stinks in here”.
The call for new boots comes after Sport Ireland stated today that the FAI has not sufficiently explained all the circumstances surrounding John Delaney’s €100k loan to the association in 2017.