John Delaney Testimonial Match Scheduled For August

THE FAI has organised a testimonial match in early August which it hopes will raise much-needed funding for former CEO John Delaney, in a bid to help him regain some financial stability following the loss of his job.

Delaney stepped down as CEO of the FAI at the weekend after 15 years of tireless service which saw the Football Association of Ireland transformed into a world-class institute of sporting excellence.

With Delaney’s salary of €360,000 a year now cut to a lesser six-figure sum, and his €3,000 per month rent now his own responsibility, the FAI have taken steps to ensure their former CEO and new Executive Vice President is looked after with a testimonial match.

“John helped us out with 100k when we needed it, so we’re going to do the same for him,” said a spokesperson for the FAI, weeping tears for the loss of such a great man who was truly a credit to himself and the sport he clearly loved so much.

“We just need to find a venue that will be able to cope with the size of the crowd coming to celebrate the man who has done more for Irish football than anyone else in history.

“We may have to run two consecutive games for him, such is the demand, with tickets starting at €350 – a mere fraction of what he deserves”.

Happy everyone is in agreement that John Delaney is sound and well worth every penny he has earned over his time as CEO, the FAI urged everyone to simply just change the subject and move on as quickly as they can.