We Retrace McGregor’s Steps Before His Miami Arrest

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AN incident in Miami saw part-time UFC fighter Conor McGregor allegedly smash and steal a fan’s phone at 5am, and in the ensuing hours a fuller picture is emerging which seems to explain why this happened.

WWN Sport wished its resources were being used to talk about a positive event in the Dublin man’s life but instead we have to soberly analyse the frankly helter-skelter hedonism that makes up McGregor’s life when he’s not in a training camp for a fight.

It’s with regret we got in touch with sources who have helped piece together the shocking events which have seen the 30-year-old cross that line again.

Here is the full rundown of the night in question:

Watches ‘Scarface’ in his hotel suite

The clock strikes 6pm, Conor, in a bid to fully embrace the unique culture of Miami watches Scarface on DVD. The first hints that something isn’t right emerge: the volume is above the recommended volume level, and the erratic star doesn’t even pause the movie when going to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. This reckless behaviour could have led to him missing vital plot points in the movie.

Has a Yop

The opulent lifestyle that he surely can’t maintain rears its ugly head. He has the delicious drink flown in from Ireland on a private jet. Our sources are unclear on whether or not it was strawberry or chocolate flavour. Seated on his hotel room’s sofa, he then proceeds to place his hand down his tracksuit pants, where it remains stationary except for the occasional scratch of the scrotum. This last detail was not needed, and does not provide any further insight into his mindset.

Cries watching video of Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga performing at the Oscars

It has been speculated that this was the 4th time he has watched the video.

Took several quizzes on Buzzfeed

Including ‘Think You Can Name 20 Dog Breeds In Three Minutes?’ and ‘Which Riverdale Character Are You?’

Hydrates

Because hydration is key.

Goes to bed at 9pm

Yawning loudly, McGregor takes to his bed insisting he gets some sleep. Note: if he planned to sleep until 9am that is a total of 12 hours of sleep, far in excess of the recommended 8 hours. Another sad indictment of his out of control lifestyle.

How McGregor went from going to bed at 9pm in his Gucci pyjamas to being unfairly arrested for a thing he did remains unknown, but it is believed avid and longstanding McGregor fans are probably correct and rational, whatever it is they are saying.

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