Local Racing Expert Always Broke, Somehow

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WITH Cheltenham 2019 kicking off, self-appointed racing expert Larry Meighen has once again declared himself the ‘man to turn to’ if you need a sure-fire tip for the horses, despite having shown no outward signs of wealth or prosperity for the last ten years.

Waterford native Meighen can usually be found in his local bookies, his local pub, or halfway between his local bookies and his local pub, doling out tips and ‘insider information’ on upcoming races, divined from his almost preternatural instincts when it comes to all matters equine.

Although one might naturally presume that someone who has such great knowledge about horse racing would be living a life not dissimilar to alternate-1985 Biff Tannen in Back To The Future 2, when WWN caught up with Meighen he was quick to ask us if we had any cigarettes, and if we wouldn’t mind dropping him back round to his house after our interview.

“Are you sticking a few quid on the horses? Lakeland Sky each way for the 4:10, money in the bag” said Meighen, who’s trousers are currently arseless.

“Can’t lose. Can’t miss. Heard from a lad who knows. A dead cert, handy money. Sitting there, waiting to be taken. Mark my words, you’d be stupid to not put a few quid on it. Got it straight from a man who gave me ten straight wins in a row only a week ago. It’s as good as cash in your pocket, only a fool wouldn’t put a fiver on it. Speaking of which, do you have a fiver you can lend me?”

With only one fiver left, we decided to keep it for ourselves and get rich, the Cheltenham way.

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