UNSURE as to which vaguely threatening female internet sensation to create scaremongering articles about this week, the media has decided to run with stories that combine the mythology of brainwashed ISIS teen bride Shamima Begum and spooky YouTube banshee Momo, and who are we at WWN to not follow suit.
Following discussions in newsrooms around the world about ‘how mad it would be if they were the same person’, we can exclusively bring you confirmation that the 18-year-old Bethnal Green terror recruit is in fact responsible for the viral witch phenomenon, with comprehensive proof to back up such a claim.
Similarities such as the existence of two Ms in their names, their internet-heavy presence and their ability to send middle-aged white parents into a comment-section frenzy have proved once and for all that they are the same person, for this news cycle at least.
“All of the fear, all of the misogynistic comments about their appearances, all of the scant understanding of what the fuck is going on, all in the one place,” said one delighted tabloid editor, lumping together a picture of Shamima and Momo and pretty much calling it a day.
“We can run fifty stories on this before we’re forced to back down on the claim and by then, we’ll have something new to rattle our sabres about. Maybe we’ll make up some shit about Kate McCann being in the IRA, or maybe Jordan will have a baby with Kerry Katona. When it comes to vilifying women for hate clicks, we’re not short of subjects”.
Do you believe Shamima Begum is Momo? Yes? No? Comment below, and don’t forget to share this story as if it is absolute fact.