Government Pass ‘One Law For Them’ Law

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THE Irish government has passed a new pay scale sentencing law in the Dáil today which will see higher earners face more lenient sentencing for crimes such as sexual assault, white collar crime and tax evasion, WWN can confirm.

The new ‘One Law for Them’ bill was quickly passed without any opposition in proceedings early this morning, and is due to take effect immediately with already one high profile revenue case seeing a wealthy property developer receiving just 200 hours community service for owing the state €1 million euro in unpaid taxes.

“Although this new ‘One Law for Them’ bill has just been passed, judges in Ireland have always practiced this stance when dealing with their financial peers,” explained a government spokesperson today, “there won’t be too much of a change in protocol and it’s nice to finally have this law in place for us, and another for them – the lower earners”.

The new bill also stipulates an increased sentencing for those on low incomes or depending on social welfare, which will hopefully deter anyone making less than €35k per year from committing any crimes.

“For instance, there will be a mandatory sentence of five years handed down for TV licence evaders and dole cheats,” the government spokesperson went on, “dole cheats cheat us all, whereas revenue cheats only cheat those on the dole, so it makes sense when you think about it”.

The news also comes after a new report found that one quarter of nation’s income goes to just 10% of the highest earners in Ireland, not that it matters to you anyway.

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