MINISTER for health Simon Harris has announced that the cost of the National Children’s Hospital has crossed the €2bn mark, thanks to the ongoing strike action by nurses and midwives.
Speaking from a fortress that he made in his home out of couch cushions and tablecloths, Harris opened up about how ‘devastated’ he felt about the spiraling costs of the controversial project, but added that there was ‘nothing he could do’ in the face of such carelessness from nurses and midwives.
Although the minister was scarce on details as to how the nurses strike had added to the cost of the Children’s Hospital, Harris assured reporters that it was fact, and that any anger surrounding the scandal should be directed at the picket line.
“I’m afraid the nurses just didn’t think about the sick kids when they selfishly went on strike” stated Harris, tutting and shaking his head.
“We’re out here trying to provide a world class hospital for children, with everyone involved operating at a loss to try and bring it in under budget, and those greedy nurses just go and drive the cost of the thing way, way up. So yeah, maybe stop hassling me about it, eh? Get them nurses back to work, on the same wages they’re on now”.
Following his statement, Harris went straight back to work on a report titled ‘How The Nurses Strike Caused The Cervical Cancer Scandal”.