UNLOADING 650 straitjackets out of the back of vans which had the name of a nearby mental institution written on them, medical professionals began the sad but necessary task of sectioning all serving MPs in the British parliament.
Acting in the best interest of a large group of people who have reportedly become completely untethered from reality, doctors confirmed they had no choice but to act after watching a live feed from parliament yesterday.
The disturbing footage broadcast live and before the watershed saw Theresa May leading the charge in voting in favour of rejecting a deal she herself had proposed and agreed with the EU. In the most disconcerting footage seen, May went on to claim she would successfully renegotiate with the EU who have stated countless times they will not renegotiate.
“It’s called a ‘collective mental state’. Essentially the entire parliament has caught a contagious case of dumbfounding irrational behaviour. Imagine an unsupervised schizophrenic on speed and you’re about halfway there to what this lot have been acting like,” confirmed one doctor as he fitted a jacket to Boris Johnson who was babbling mindlessly about a ‘freedom clause’.
People detained under the Mental Health Act (1983) need urgent treatment for a mental health disorder and are at risk of harm to themselves or others.
There were further unsettling scenes when PM May was carefully guided into the back of an ambulance in a straitjacket. Smiling to cameras and putting on her now trademark brave face May confidently and loudly proclaimed “off to Brussels now to get that deal you all voted for when you voted to leave” as MPs, also being carted off, cheered loudly in support.
“Brexit will be a success, I have a Commons majority now. Nothing can stop us,” May added before being sedated by a nurse.