Brexit: Here’s All The Embarrassing Things Britain Has Done In The Last 24 Hours

THE RECENT months have presented an overwhelming deluge of random acts of British political ignorance that has been incredibly hard to keep track of.

In an effort to help our readers traverse the daily dose of politicians across the sea causing their constituents and citizens endless embarrassment, WWN has compiled a selection of all cack-handed and exuberantly misguided feats of chronic idiocy that passes for Britain’s official Brexit planning these days.

Here’s a rundown of the last 24 hours:

Senior Tory MPs praised Theresa May for shitting in her hands and then clapping while in a meeting with Dutch PM Mark Rutte. Press photographers then snapped a picture of May’s notes which read ‘don’t forget to ask EU what Brexit is once cameras are gone’.

Under special plans in the case of a Hard Brexit, Prince Philip will be put in charge of driving and rerouting all trucks carrying goods to and from Britain into EU nations.

The Ministry of Health is to issue a helpful chart to each home in Britain which details the best human limbs and body parts to cook and eat when you’ve run out of food.

In a bid to strengthen the Union and make sure the people of Northern Ireland don’t feel ignored, isolated or patronised, Theresa May flew over Belfast and waved from a safe distance.

Jacob Rees Mogg has double downed on his claim that the Irish Famine was a vicious plot by the EU to undermine Britain and that “the supplicant Irish people actually loved dying of starvation anyway so no harm no foul”.

The mantra of ‘Take Back Control’ has been adjusted by the Brexit Minister Stephen Barclay to ‘Some Poor People Will Have To Die’.

Several prominent members of Theresa May’s cabinet reiterated to EU leaders that they could not accept the terms of the backstop. It was then pointed out to them that it was Britain that first suggested a backstop, dictated its terms and then agreed to implementing it.

The British negotiating team gave out to the EU again for inventing the backstop.

Boris Johnson has urged the bit of Brexit which causes substantial job losses and financial hardship for working class communities that once benefited from EU funding be called the ‘freedom clause’.

Brexit Minister Barclay was not corrected in the House of Commons by anyone when he said the key to avoiding a hard border would be to go around the Irish government and negotiate directly with Mrs Brown and her boys.

In a private speech to her party Theresa May says she can’t believe the EU tricked her cabinet into coming up with plans in 2017 for a backstop to prevent a hard border and subsequently tricking her into bringing the idea to EU leaders.

In a bid to pass off their own problems to someone else the British Government has tried on 53 separate occasions to alter the Wikipedia entry on Northern Ireland so it read ‘Northern Ireland is a sovereign territory belonging to the Republic of Ireland.