IN A SOBERING act of remarkable self-awareness, leading CEO in banks and financial institutions around the world have gone on strike demanding that the boards and shareholders which have facilitated their wildly inflated salaries, reduce them immediately while simultaneously putting demands on them to work longer hours.
Armed with placards emblazoned with slogans such as “honestly, I’m paid too fucking much” and “cut my pay, give me more hours” leading bank CEOs rose up in a stirring example of collective action, refusing to return to work until their demands are met.
“I swear to God, if these fuckers don’t cut my pay I’m not going back in. For as long as it takes, I’ll be out here striking,” one Armani suited CEO said, visibly angry at his work conditions.
“Do you know I can hit the golf course at any time and no one calls me out on it. I can do whatever the fuck I want and there’s no repercussions and I’m telling you, I’m sick of it!”
A call and response chant of “What do we want? Worse pay! When do we want it? Now!” was heard bellowed by CEOs on the streets outside banks as they finally snapped, fed up with being repeatedly remunerated handsomely for work they admit doesn’t require such exorbitant pay checks.
A number of commuters inconvenience by the strike due to the knock on effect it had on traffic were heavily critical of those waving placards.
“Typical elitist millionaires, this has added an extra hour onto my commute home, but do you think they even care?” remarked one irate commuter, who doesn’t know why bank CEOs don’t just accept their current pay levels.