THE BIG TAKEAWAY from Joe Schmidt’s 6 Nations squad announcement is that there’s a place for Leinster’s uncapped prop Turlough O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd Moriarty Shanahan Jr, or Turlough O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd for short.
A name not on many people’s radar 12 months ago, O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd Moriarty Shanahan’s progress through the ranks was delayed somewhat after Leinster coach Leo Cullen was denied planning permission for the 23 stone, 6ft 9inch structured player.
“It’s time to see what the young lad is made of,” enthused rugby reporter Riadh Townsend, but those with their finger on the pulse know that the human battering ram switched to a new nutrition plan last year and is made mostly of solid concrete.
“People bang on about protein shakes but there’s a lot more to feckin’ rugby than that,” explained O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd Moriarty Shanahan Sr, the 22-year-old’s father. “He’s been injecting concrete directly into his veins, and before you badger me, there’s nothing in the rules against players injecting concrete or reinforced steel directly into their bodies”.
A new name among the tried and tested experience of Murray, Sexton, Earls, Toner and Best, O’Brien Kennedy O’Dowd Moriarty Shanahan should consider an appearance off the bench in the games against Scotland and England a big achievement with Furlong and Healy ahead of him in the pecking order.
Elsewhere, diehard rugby fans have stated they have never been so excited about an Irish 6 Nations campaign and will throw their full, passionate weight behind the men in green as long as they’re winning.