YESTERDAY’S ‘Yellow Jacket’ protest in Dublin has been heralded as the world’s largest demonstration of its kind, after a series of communications lapses on the part of An Garda Síochána saw the entire police service of the country accidentally join the march.
Inspired by the ‘Gilets Jaunes’ demonstrations in France, a group calling themselves Yellow Jackets Ireland convened in Merrion Square yesterday to protest against what they called ‘Ireland Not Being As Ireland As It Used To Be’. The initial crowd of protestors consisted of around eighteen people, ranging from angry red-faced men in their late forties to one girl aged 18 who only went because her boyfriend had convinced her that Sharia Law was seconds away from implementation.
6 rank and file members of An Garda Síochána were sent to maintain order among the small group, prompting onlookers to state on social media that the crowd ‘seemed to be growing’, having mistaken the guards hi-vis vests for those of the protestors.
Perturbed that the demonstration was gaining traction, Gardaí from surrounding stations were re-routed to the central Dublin area, and by lunchtime the crowd consisted of the same 18 protestors and at least 1,400 beat cops, mixed together in a sea of luminous yellow.
Images of the supposed ‘protest’ spread quickly on social media, inciting moderates to believe that perhaps these yellow jacket lads were onto something, and that perhaps the time had come to rise up as a nation for whatever case this appeared to be.
“I didn’t really care for the yellow jacket movement, they seemed like cranks, but then I saw the crowd in Merrion Square and I was like fuck, maybe I better join in” said one of the newly arrived protestors, wearing a yellow hi-vis bib that he normally wears when cycling.
With ever-more Gardaí streaming into the area to quell the massing crowd, and ever-more civilians joining in when they witnessed just how many people appeared to be in the area, soon the entirety of central Dublin was a tsunami of yellow, with Templemore emptied of trainee cops and Woodies completely sold out of hi-vis vests.
“What do we want?!” shouted one protestor, as the day wore on.
Nobody answered, because nobody knew.