BELEAGUERED British prime minister Theresa May Has taken to the floor in the House Of Commons and issued what appears to be an infomercial for the energy and stamina-enhancing food supplement Brain Force Plus to the baffled MPs in attendance.
MPs had been expecting May to put forth a last-ditch effort to save her Brexit deal ahead of tomorrow’s crucial vote, only to be met with May’s endorsement of Brain Force Plus, which she claims has the ability to ‘supercharge the mind’, allowing her to focus on the grueling task at hand.
“When I wake in the morning, I take my Brain Force Plus to make sure my mind is ready for the day ahead,” said May, holding up a bottle of the Infowars-endorsed supplement.
“Developed by top scientists in the field of neuroscience and digestion, each Brain Force Plus capsule contains vital minerals and enzymes, with each ingredients obtained from natural sources to ensure my mind remains toxin-free, and ready for whatever the day throws at me”.
The Speaker of the house urged Mrs. May to make her point or leave the floor, which the PM responded to by screaming purchasing details at the members of parliament in attendance.
“Use the offer code ‘MAY’ to claim 10% off at checkout” shrieked May, guzzling capsules by the dozen.
“There’s a war on for your mind! Fight back with Brain Force Plus!”.