Local Man Circles All The Xmas Porn He’s Going To Watch With Red Pen

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IN keeping with a Christmas tradition that dates all the way back to his VHS days, Waterford porn addict, Shane Drennan, has sat down with a digital red pen and a laptop and made a note of all the festive porn that he’ll depend on for a hit of dopamine this Yuletide season.

Drennan, 22, made sure to include some new clips and compilations in his stocking-filling list, as well as some tried-and-true porn classics that he’s been watching since the days of dial-up.

Taking special care to make sure that he’s left himself enough time to devote the season to watching porn, thinking about porn, and worrying where his next porn hit is coming from, Drennan has pledged to make sure that he’ll isolate himself from friends and family for long enough over the holidays, making sure that he’s not going to do anything stupid like forge a meaningful relationship, or reach out for help in tackling his addiction between now and the New Year.

“Oh, that looks suitably unrealistic and mind-warping, throw that in the queue. That looks like a pretty desensitising piece, let’s mark that down for first thing in the morning, and last thing at night,a” mused Drennan, browsing a website with more freely accessible porn than a developing human mind could ever hope to cope with.

“That looks like it’ll be fine for numbing me to the point of sexual incapacity should I ever find a girlfriend, and that looks like it could give me a warped view on consent for the rest of my life.

“Looks like Santa isn’t going to be the only one with an empty sack this Christmas!” he concluded.

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